Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
