Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
