If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
