I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
tell me about the fingering
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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