Me. At least after what I've been through.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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