In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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