when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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