suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
