she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No subtext here. People are naked.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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