This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
