Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How external is "for external use only"?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
