playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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