i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
