i already hear my dad disowning me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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