If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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