I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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