Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
