I just threw up on my dentist
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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