OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
