Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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