C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
