Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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