i may or may not be watching the land before time
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
