He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
