She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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