Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
