I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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