never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
