2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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