How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
