Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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