im drinking this country out of the recession.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
