Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
