So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
