Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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