I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
