You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
