return my video game
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
