I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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