plz talk dirty to me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
