We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
