the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
