If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
