Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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