have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
