You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
