New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
