I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
