is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
