he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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