sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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