Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
