I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
I think your dad took our porno