He disabled his match.com account in front of me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.