is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza