Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
