Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
