Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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