he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
