literally had 100 drinks last night.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
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The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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