So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
