I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
