If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
