There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
