What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
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Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
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Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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