I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
