You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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