So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
