this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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